Pretend

We pretend:

Don’t we pretend to be happy?? Or pretend to be sad at times?? Yes we do! And we do it very sincerely.   We want to pretend to “envelop” our true emotion. Pretending is just showing wrong emotion. Many factors act upon a person which indeed makes him to pretend.  Few questions arise when we think about pretending, is it necessary to pretend?? If so can we justify the statement “I’m what I’m”?? By pretending something can we make the situation better or worse?? For all these questions there is no unanimity in answers.

It depends on the person’s value on which he leads his/her life. People, who don’t care about others won’t pretend in any situation. They speak their heart or mind out!  But most of us pretend to satisfy “others”. We just give up our own values and we stand correct for the statement “we are ‘not’ what we are always”. This attitude haunts us when we’re alone and we feel lonely. At the end of the day we sob because of subjugating the true feeling.

Pretending is a very difficult task and a complex phenomenon. Yet we pretend and get best actor or actress award by acting in a movie called “life”. We act and it’s reality. By the fear of being out-group in some situation, we pretend. Sometimes we even sacrifice our happiness, which is totally unhealthy. Happiness should be “shared” not be “scarified”. When you sacrifice you are left with nothing.

Pretending can make us and others distant from reality and true emotion can outburst anytime. So it’s better to tell what’s going on in one’s mind or heart. We’re not so courageous to do this always but we shouldn’t repent for pretending. Sometimes pretending can create misunderstanding between people. People who are very good at sensing other’s emotion won’t be comfortable when you pretend because they would know your true emotion. By pretending something people may interpret it in a wrong way, which makes us feel inferior.  We feel inferior because we are in search of perfect person who understand us in every walk of our life. How’ll he/she understand when you don’t show true emotion?? There are some special people who can make out that you are pretending! But very few!

Revive the “childhood emotion”! We were so transparent and there were no hidden feelings, yet people used to love us! But now we make so many adjustments and pretend many things to get that same “love”.  So is it necessary?? It’s necessary only in few situations “not always”.  Trust me; end of the day no one would know your true feeling and that really hurts.

Distraction!

“Distraction is a kind of attraction”

Distraction a term which is in vague these days, has sought the attention of the people. Distraction literally refers to a thing that distracts someone’s attention. The attention is drawn on something which is not needed at that particular moment.  It differs in degree and depends on the object or aspect which has distracted the attention from the main task. Distraction is a common phenomenon, only the reason differs.

What make us to distract our attention from the task which we’re doing??  Some of reasons for why we’re being distracted are as follows:

a)   The aspect or the thing that distracts our attention will be “stronger” and “attractive” then the main task.
b)   Sometimes we’re prone to distract or shift our attention for some genuine reason. We may call it as a break or an entertainment.
c)    Our “interest” and “dedication” towards the main task could be less.
d)   Biologically it has been proved that an individual can attend to any task for maximum of only a few seconds.
e)   Attention is distracted when an irrelevant task interferes with the task one is doing.
f)    We are distracted by the thing which we “like” the most from the main task.

Distraction from a main task would result in two extremes. Firstly due to the distraction a person’s efficiency towards the task may reduce. Secondly, if an individual is aware of being distracted he/she would put “more” effort on the task to improve their efficiency. So it depends on the person how he uses the distraction as.

Now-a-days the term distraction is common in the students’ forum. If something goes wrong we’ve a habit of blaming on the thing which has distracted our attention, which is not correct! It seems like students are being pampered by the parents. I mean if parents gets to know that their daughter/son is being distracted by a particular thing, then they’ll stop giving that thing to him/her.  This is good if a child crosses the limit. Here the parents are teaching us to “avoid” the distraction but not teaching how to “confront” it. At this age they can help us to avoid the distraction but in the later stages of life there could be some unknown distraction which we alone should manage. To confront that we ought to have “courage” and that courage only comes with the experience. So we should know how to confront or live with the distraction rather than avoiding it. It’s a learning process and opportunity should be given for the students to learn. We just have to know our limits.

Purpose and believing:

 Purpose + belief = efficiency and satisfaction

Here is a list of questions that we hardly know the answers. Do we really know the purpose of things that we do daily?? Do we try to know the purpose?? Do we do the things only for the sake of completing it?? In the process of doing the task we may have a question i.e. what am I doing?? (Blank, don’t know). After completing the task, why did I do?? Was this relevant to me!! These are the questions that haunt us and most of the time we don’t have any answer, which leads to lack of satisfaction and efficiency.

The confusion in our mind can be reduced by exploring the purpose of doing the task. As a lay man I don’t know the purpose of living life! Infact I’ve just started to explore it. But we should know the purpose of small things which we do daily. Before or after completing the task we have to know the purpose for our own satisfaction. For instance the purpose of going to college is to “gain knowledge” or to “have fun” or “both”, depends on the person. But when we don’t realize why we are going, the result is unsatisfactory. We all commit mistakes, that too big mistake due to not knowing the purpose. The purpose seems to be abstract, most of the time. It is always subject to change.

Purpose or beliefs are the two aspects which we ought to possess to gain satisfaction. They are inter-related. As I’ve mentioned in the above paragraphs, knowing the purpose of doing the task is very important. But to know or to explore the purpose we ought to believe in the things we do. It’s really hard to do the things which we don’t believe in. When you believe in certain thing it allows you to perform the task in a better manner, which is our goal. Expecting the good result without believing in it will not fetch us anything.  For most of the things that we do daily, we neither know the purpose nor do we believe in its value! Even then we’ll complete the task but get no satisfaction.

Do the things in which you are interested or if you’ve taken up the task without interest, do cultivate the interest towards it. That’ll surely enhance your efficiency. At some point you’ll start believing in it and perform the task in a better manner!!

People’s single point of view:

“In the race to become independent to take our own decisions, we forget to ask suggestions from others”.

In our daily life we come across many people who think or analyze a particular situation in a single point of view (in their own perspective), I mean they won’t analyze in a holistic way. It’s common that when we see a person for the first time, we’ll start thinking or judging him/her in an urge to know them in a better way. By doing this we create certain image or invisible boundary about the person’s personality. But most of the times we fail in accuracy. This mostly happens when we hear things about strangers. Even though we would have not seen them, we tend to know them. When we get to know about that person we create certain mind block towards his/her personality.  It can be negative or positive depends on the source from which we get the information. When we meet that stranger (he’ll be no more stranger but…) we look at him by the same perspective, as the source had revealed. This could have an adverse effect on the person or may not and there arises a single point of view. We are no one to judge a person; we can only know him/her as they are.

In this world there are so many things which are not known to us or not yet explored. To reveal the mystery behind it, we ought to learn many things till our life exists. It’s a learning process; it may be through formal or informal way. There’s no age bar to learn things. Even though most of us know this truth, we certainly do not adopt it in our life because of our “ego”. It doesn’t allow us to learn things and we tend to defend ourselves by saying “we know everything”. This attitude gives rise to single point of view on certain aspect or thing. A person develops defending attitude and will not be able sense the other person’s point of view.  If we welcome and respect other’s suggestions and thoughts we’ll surly cultivate to think in a holistic way.

The definition for “happiness” differs from person to person. For instance I may feel immense happiness by buying a sun clock but my friend would be happy if she buys a top with the same amount. This can be applied for all the emotions such as anger, depression, being embarrassed etc. The degree at which we sense it differs from person to person. We would have come across so many people only at their depressing moments and we’ll always tend to show pity towards them. We only know their lighter part. At this situation we have a mind block that person’s life is filled with depressing moments.  But at the same time we don’t know that they might be happy in their own way and it can be for different reason. People find happiness in their own way according to their likes and dislikes. As a lay man we can’t judge others emotions in a holistic way. The search for happiness continues till our life exists.

As human beings we all have certain thinking pattern and according to that we analyze the situations. To cultivate a habit of thinking in a holistic way, at certain times we have to modify our thinking pattern rather than blaming the person or situation. This may avoid single point of view towards them...

reality

Reality:

“We deny to believe in reality for a momentary happiness”

Sometimes it’s really hard to believe the reality, what’s actually happening around us. Even though we are practical enough to judge a circumstance we tend to deny it because it may hurt us. Denying something which is real may have an adverse effect on a person and as well as people around him/her. People around such person find it difficult to make him/her understand about reality. People who are “highly “imaginative I mean who have their own perception on certain things which has not been accepted by others, will find it difficult in accepting things as they are.(I have mentioned highly in double codes because all the people who are imaginative are not like this only few). In some aspects creativity decreases the purity of reality. The degree in which a person is creative or imaginative matters a lot!

In some situations to accept the reality one has be bold and brave enough because the society creeps into the situation. This makes an ever lasting impact on a person. We tend to believe as reality only the things we see and experience. There are many things that are unseen and not experienced by many people. In such things it’s very difficult to verify reality. It’ll be so strange that one starts giving different names for it. Accepting certain things as they are is bit difficult and one has to have conflict within him/her. By denying some reality one can feel unexplainable happiness which he/she could have not experienced by accepting it. The thinking should be in practical way and the approach towards it should be in creative way. This’ll surly enhances the efficiency in a person.

The definition for few aspects changes as we grow. Some people who are elder or younger than us will have different definition for the same aspect, and for this we popularly call as “generation gap”. There is no unanimity among the people about the existence of generation gap. Most of the conflicts which happen between the parents and children are because of existence of generation gap. The perspective about the reality differs between parents and children. In such situation there’ll be no proper judgment about reality. Both will have different point of view on reality. When there is mutual agreement or mutual understanding between them, than the term “generation gap” doesn’t exist.

Some people have a tendency of talking with non-living things. Sometimes this looks like a childish act or we do appreciate for their creativity. By this the person will not be able to know the point of view of others. One can tell about certain aspect but can’t share things with them. This’ll surely help a person to bring out his emotion from his/her heart but the satisfaction which he gains from doing it will not last for long. The person becomes more dependent on the object. The person should know the limit for his/her dependency. In such aspects the value for reality decreases. “Perceiving the thing as it is and later changing it according to one’s own mentality is better than perceiving the thing according to one’s own mentality”. It makes a difference.